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21-Jan-2018 12:48 by 9 Comments

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None of my friends will talk to me because I drunkenly hooked up with one of their exes.” I gazed into my filthy Converse sneakers wondering how the hell they got so dirty. Don’t shit where you eat.” And just like that, she was gone.

I was puffing on a cigarette outside of a lesbian club, looking all bleary-eyed and angst-ridden when an older dyke, probably about fifteen years my senior, came sauntering on over to me. ” She asked me, leaning up against the graffitied cement wall, pulling a lighter out of her back pocket like some sort of 1940s swashbuckler. “I know that expression.” I stamped out my cigarette. “Rookie mistake.” “I don’t see what the big deal is! I don’t know about you queers, but it took me a long time to understand the intricate rules of the ever-complicated girl-on-girl dating scene.I made this mistake in high school and I’m convinced it screwed me up for life.Oh, the sacrifices us fashion lezzies must make for sex!Luckily orgasms feel better than acrylic nails taste. I didn’t even know what a dental dam was when I was 21.I’m amazed I made it out of my slutty phase (I say “slut” in an empowered way! I thought it was something they stuck in your mouth at the dentist. Just because society associates femininity with weakness doesn’t mean I have to play the role. I wear heaps of mascara, look great in pale pink, AND can rescue myself from any kind of disaster.Your emotions are too out of whack, the stakes are too high.

Plus, in order to know what you truly like, you need to get in there and date as many different ladies as you possibly can. He might have practiced polyamory, consensual open love.But John, with his flair for saccharine cuteness and his insistence on treating his conquests like romantic-comedy heroines, didn’t like just to play or cheat, and he certainly didn’t like any of his girlfriends to suspect that they didn’t have his full attention. According to Moira Weigel, the author of “Labor of Love: The Invention of Dating” (Farrar, Straus & Giroux), most people are not like John in this respect.All of them had received the couch-spooning treatment.John was a champion girlfriend accumulator, the ringmaster of a romantic circus that only he could see.The first lesbian cut is the deepest, but I promise you, my heartbroken baby lesbians, you’re not supposed to end up with the first girl you date.

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