Brown skin dating
Brown skin dating - hit dating show of love
This was something that I was no stranger to with white men — although I still found it shocking to be in a place as culturally open as NYC and still only want to date someone your own race — but I was shocked to see that black men were not always open to dating black women.Even when I felt I had passed the racial preference test, there were times where I would get down to the "you should message me if" profile section and see that someone actually went out of their way to specify what TYPE of black girl they would date.
I grew up constantly dreaming of a different life, a life where we were not the only black family in my town, a life where I could openly talk about my culture without isolating my peers — a life that couldn't be lived in my small town in New Hampshire.
I once watched a friend of mine sit on a panel during a discussion on colorism; she sat confidently and elegantly while listening to the darker skinned women on the panel glorify white men who dated dark-skinned women and admonish dark men who dated light-skinned women. I found myself angry that she would need to defend her skin tone and her place in the black community.
The cruel assumption was that for our light-skinned counterparts, life is filled with rainbows, freebies, and a shitload of opportunity.
When Ok Cupid sent me a random statistic on why black women are the least dated demographic, I climbed on a soapbox and declared that I was above dating and needed to focus on my career — but really, dating had hurt my feelings.
Once my eyes were open to a world of colorism outside the black community, thanks to online dating, it was incredibly hard not to notice the colorism within my community.
While my classmates laid out in the sun, desperately trying to bronze their bodies, I found myself trying to do the opposite.
Sun damage was not my concern, and skin cancer hadn't even entered my vocabulary.
Since I opened my eyes to colorism that constantly surrounds me, I've learned these five truths.
Colorism drives our community apart and reinforces harmful stereotypes about black people that have existed for hundreds of years.
I may have thought the envy I felt would stop when I moved to New York City.
But, though colorism is one of the worst types of discrimination, it in itself does not discriminate.
It is clear that we have substantial Native Indian blood in our family, and on my dad's side there is Scottish blood that stems from a handsy slave-trader generations ago.