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Everyone on this site is trying to stave off menopause, including the men—their idea of a hot night out is a trip to the quilt festival, and finishing the evening with some heavy petting has an entirely different meaning to them.
You’d have better luck finding a date if you replaced your pet obituaries with a list of your STDs.
“You don’t have to be a farmer, but you do have to have good old-fashioned down to earth values,” says Jerry Miller, the site’s founder.
Jerry, “old-fashioned values” is code for either being racist or being Amish, and the latter can’t use the Internet. Never mind—after watching that commercial we’re guessing Farmers Only is less Confederacy Couples and more First Cousin Fornicating.
There’s nothing wrong with sharing a mutual interest, but unless you spend your free time writing Ayn Rand fanfiction and trying to convince people that the movie wasn’t terrible it’s probably not the most relevant part of your personality.
The Atlasphere feels less like a genuine dating site and more like a place for people to tell each other how awesome they are for liking Ayn Rand.
Finding love is hard, and it’s even harder when you’re only attracted to Asian midgets with Parkinson’s disease and a lisp.
In the old days you would have died alone, but thanks to the Internet we now know that no matter how insane your tastes are there’s a community out there that shares them.You no doubt assumed that Farmers Only is a dating site for farmers only.You’re wrong, city slicker—Farmers Only is more nuanced than that.It’s all the awkwardness of Internet dating with the added fun of a science project! There are real advantages to dating with science, as explained by the site’s “6 benefits of scientific matching.” The number one benefit?“Chances are increased that you’ll love the natural body fragrance of your matches.” Wait, is this secretly a dating site for people who refuse to use deodorant?Are those the sort of people we really want to be reproducing?