Art of dating men
Art of dating men
The exact ages and differentials vary, but each one reinforces one important point: Women get less valuable as they age, while men just get to enjoy the ride.Older men who date much younger women make the transactional, hierarchical nature of romance explicit and reveal the extent to which men and women are still playing by very different rulebooks.
I know, I know: Why care that two consenting adults are canoodling when a demagogue is about to take the White House?Oh, and then there are the guys who are asking you to be their girlfriend because they think you want to be their girlfriend.In their heart of hearts, they aren't interested in pursuing you long-term, but also don't want you hooking up with a lot of other guys. Jake was hooking up with a woman casually for about a month. We genuinely want to define the relationship and move it forward.The next time he saw her he asked her, seemingly casually (inwardly freaked out) if she really liked this guy. Now, Jake didn't foresee a long-term relationship with this woman but wasn't ready to cut her loose either. How’s this for kismet: One fateful day in 1966, singer Tony Bennett met and took a photo with a couple after one of his shows.Every day, there seems to be another outrageous new celebrity coupling announced via pictures of some May-December frolicking: Jennifer Lawrence sharing a lollipop with Darren Aronofsky; Sean Penn dating Vincent D’Onofrio’s daughter; Mel Gibson having his ninth child with his 26-year-old girlfriend; Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen double-dating with their 47-year-old and 58-year-old respective beaus; Leonardo Di Caprio’s sending another lady-love packing upon her reaching the ripe old age of 25.
Online dating stats bare out that average joes are just as enamored with younger women as their famous counterparts.Older, wiser, married women in my life have told me this is how dating was in their day—Wednesday you might have a date with Bob and Friday you might have a date with Dan, but so long as neither relationship was exclusive, this was considered appropriate, they say, and even helpful in discerning commitment and ultimately marriage. This approach to dating seems more difficult in our culture, where the prevalence of hook-ups has complicated our understanding of male/female relationships.Today it can seem that there are two dating cultures—the “hook-up culture,” where physical pleasure dominates, and the “hanging-out culture,” where the decision to avoid hooking-up has left men and women bashful when displaying any romantic interest for fear of unknown expectations.A few years ago, when a man I was very intrigued by called me to ask for a date, I was elated.So elated that I broke one of my cardinal rules of dating—I closed myself off to other men who were expressing romantic interest, but hadn’t yet asked for a date.You might say you have to think about it, and (you guessed it) we're going to be deflated.