Internet dating sites tips
Internet dating sites tips
It’s amazing how many people will complain that they’ve had no luck with online dating and then I’ll take a look at their profile and there won’t be any pictures and most of the fields aren’t filled out.
And if you find that the people YOU like are out of your league, well then start running laps and learning a new language, because online dating with not help you fake out someone for long, buddy.Put yourself in the shoes of someone who is visiting your profile.Say you want to come across as sweet, but with a sexy side. If not, balance your photos a bit better (have some that show you being sweet, some that show you being sexy, with the balance being about what your personal sweet:sexy ratio is), insert a few more salacious comments among the cute ones, and check it out again.When many people think of online dating, they think of all the World of Warcraft addicts and goth kids from high school getting together online trying to get dates.I actually felt the same way about it until I undertook a research project a year and a half ago that led me to join 18 different dating sites, going on a date with a girl from each one.Hopefully I don’t have to go any further with why this is the wrong approach because, damn, it’s REALLY the wrong approach. This is a rule that applies to interacting in person as well, but it’s especially important in the online dating scene because it can be hard to get people to reply to you (whether due to the massive amounts of mail they get everyday or simply because they don’t know how to respond to your list introduction [see Tip 6]).
The far better tactic is to take it slow, like you would meeting someone in real life (generally, at least..maybe the person above is used to doing the same thing in person? Introduce yourself in a way that is clear enough that the other person isn’t freaked out or caught off guard, but intriguing enough that they want to write you back, find out more, and strike up a conversation. Asking a few intelligent, well thought out questions, however, gives them a reason to respond, while at the same time showing something about yourself (‘if he knows enough to ask about that, he must be an MGMT fan, too! Asking good questions can help you steer the conversation while at the same time allowing you to be an active listener; that is, you are totally focused on what the other person is saying, and therefore finding out exactly what you want to know about them (which is one of the benefits of online dating…if you find out they are a Neo-Nazi or infrequent bather or something like that, you can ease your way out of the conversation by not asking any more questions).If they took some time to form whole sentences and strike up a conversation with you, however, even if you’re not interested it’s polite to jot down a quick reply and either respond to them in a way that encourages more communication or in a way that cuts the convo off (nicely).This, of course, gets more difficult for woman, who (if what I’ve heard is correct) can get hundreds of messages per day on some of the more popular dating sites.It’s simply not cool, gives online dating a bad name, and will likely get you reported and booted from the site.Secondly, most sites allow some kind of opt-in or opt-out functionality that allows people to see who has been viewing their profile.If you’ve been back to the same person’s page 10 times today, it’s time to send him/her a message, otherwise you might become known as a ‘lurker,’ essentially the Peeping Tom of the online dating world, who is basically there to look at other people’s profiles and do god-knows-what while looking at them. Thirdly, if someone sends a message to you, it’s usually good form to send them something back.